If you’re constantly feeling inundated with thoughts of not being smart enough, good enough, or just simply worth enough to experience a peaceful life. It’s time to look at some of your thinking patterns.
Most importantly, give yourself some compassion because it’s not your fault that you’ve been flooded with thoughts and beliefs about being good enough and being worthy enough.
You may have learned these when you were younger simply by observing those around you. Maybe it’s all the ads and commercials for things that promise to make you more confident, loving, and deserving.
Thank you for telling me I need to wear a face full of make-up to be taken seriously by anyone.
Negative thinking patterns are likely deeply embedded in your mind and tough to change. Here are some suggestions to help you break negative thought patterns and live a better, happier, and peaceful life.
Address Your Inner Critic
How many times a day do you think bad things about yourself? And how do you feel after you think these things? Pretty bad right? It’s time to put these critical thoughts to rest. Every time you have a thought which is critically thinking about something you are doing, ask yourself if that thought is true.
And if the answer is yes, then ask yourself if you have evidence to back up that thought. If you don’t, the thought is clearly false and can’t be true. Another method you can try is simply stopping critical thoughts in their tracks and telling yourself that you won’t be engaging in those thoughts anymore. Obviously easier said than done.
The first step to challenging those negative thinking habits is to acknowledge what they are and when they show up. Here’s a couple posts I’ve shared on my Instagram of the different types of negative thinking patterns.
Once you acknowledge this type of thinking, you’re more likely to be able to take time to challenge the thought and ask if it is valid or not. You might also consider reframing the situation as if it was a loved one telling you this thought. Oftentimes, we are better at giving others advice than ourselves. Practice what you’d say to your loved one for that thought and direct it yourself.
The more you practice challenging the negative thinking patterns, the easier it will be to stop ruminating on them at length.
Know What Triggers You
There are likely certain activities in your everyday life which trigger negative thought patterns. A common example is looking in the mirror and thinking you aren’t good-looking enough. If looking in the mirror is what triggers you, it’s time to avoid spending time standing and staring into the glass.
Of course, you can’t always avoid looking in the mirror. But once you know your triggers, you can prepare yourself in advance. With affirmations and other positive thinking so that you won’t think the negative thoughts the minute you start the activity.
A really great self-compassion exercise to try might be looking in the mirror at yourself and simply acknowledging how you’re feeling. It might be something like this…
“Wow, Faye (Insert your own name), you look really tired. You’ve been super stressed lately and haven’t been getting enough sleep. Let me try to do better by getting more sleep.”
Simple awareness of how you’re feeling and what is going on in your life can definitely take a toll on what you see in your reflection.
Journal
Another way to combat negative thinking patterns is by writing about them. Sometimes you may not even be aware of all the negative thoughts which may go through your head during a single day. And, while these thoughts may seem serious in your mind, they may seem a lot less serious on paper.
So, every evening resolve to sit down with your journal and work through your thoughts from the day. This is also a good time to develop affirmations or other positive counter measures to help you better deal with the negative thinking patterns when you are away from your journal the next day.
I want to clarify that I am not promoting what has been coined as the term of toxic positivity. Life is not always sunshine and rainbows and we are complex humans with complex feelings and emotions. It’s okay to express and acknowledge how you are feeling. Trying to hide from your real human emotions such as greed, jealousy, lust, pain, etc. is only a temporary band-aid fix.
Change Your Surroundings
When you feel as if your thoughts are taking over your mind and you can’t seem to quiet them down, this is when you might want to take a break from your surroundings. This doesn’t mean you need to move homes or anything crazy, but just stepping out of the room you are in can help. It’s best if you head for a walk in nature, or arrange to see a friend, as both of these activities will help distract you from the negative thoughts until your more rational side can take over.
Even if you can’t leave your surroundings, even just changing from the activity you are doing to something else can help. Take a break from what is frustrating you and do something you enjoy. This is a great time to work in meditation or exercise into your daily routine as you take breaks from your frustrations.
And don’t forget…
No matter how you look at it, negative thinking which have been ingrained in your mind can be difficult to change and reframe. But if you start developing positive affirmations, and using them to address your inner critic. You’ll quickly find yourself on the road to a more peaceful life.
And don’t forget to use the powers of journaling, meditation and changing your surroundings as a tool to help you break out of the trap of negative thinking.
Please keep in mind this is not professional medical advice. If you’re struggling with negative thinking patterns that you are unable to cope with alone. I highly recommend speaking with your medical professional to see what a better solution for you might be.
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As always, my mission is to help you live a more joyful, peaceful and connected life, even with anxiety.
Thank you for being here!
With lots of love!
- Faye
